Having made the watch pilgrimage to the massive trade show at Basel six times now, one can forget by familiarity how bizarre the scene actually is. It's double weird, trust me. Video explained in copy that follows. Note interior footage is of one the top stands, where everyone is most dignified.

Basel World's a place where watch brands build stands like towering fortresses, ocean liners or space craft, and while thousands mill about in the enormous hangers, only a few are granted audiences and appointments with the horological fair on the inside.

Rolex Castle

Other than the architecture, socially the place is a blend of the following:

One third, older men in average to poor suiting with little head hair between them and that puffy fleshiness that northern Europeans  acquire, all toting very expensive watches.

Another third, attractive women turned out in varying degrees of tartiness ranging from top flight hooker, through naughty air hostess to trade show bimbo.

The rest, a truly international mix of style and watch journos, PRs, and sales/brands people united under a common banner of kettle wedge*. What a bleedin' rabble.

One notable female exception to these categories, simultaneously stunning, , aloof and commanding a sharp wit, commented that she'd always wondered what would happen if this mass of polyester suited men were to vigorously rub against each other. Would the power generated be enough to power a small Serbian town? An idea for eco-watch credibility perhaps.

TAG Heuer space ship

I find the blatant mix of old blokes in suits and young birds dolled up and obliged to smile a little disturbing. It’s like a massive watch knocking shop, with no knocking. A hostess club where no one gets their tits out and no one gets paid.  It's odd. Believe me.

The other thing I cant get my head round is the sheer volume of watches we are supposed to consume. I don’t get it. Who’s buying them all? I don’t want to say anything in case I get expelled, but the scale of this caper is utterly mental. There's hundreds of brands represented here, and it's not even the only fair.  Mind boggling.

I shall deliver some watch coverage in next post. I do love a good kettle, so I’m not moaning. There are other highlights too. Crossover from the world of fashion yields up some of my favourite stylers, and much fun and stylish frivolity can be had.  Styler such as the uber chic Mr. Andre De Trichateau (De Trich’), who refuses to bow to the corporate model. Would you look at Andre's scarf? Now that’s worth the pilgrimage alone.

Stubbs (The Righteous Prude). 

* watch money.

Patek Towers