Ubiquitous Outerwear Epidemic
Jackets are utterly key. Not only a banner of style allegiance, but the first thing clockable in the street when walking about (looking at other men’s jackets), and hence a pivotal telegraph of taste and stance. Credible jackets are a must for a strong wardrobe.
There does come a point however, when no matter how good a piece is, integrity, nay, dignity becomes an issue. Such as hoards of complete idiots wearing the same style jacket as you. Behold the Barbour epidemic of 2009/10:
Three out of five men in stylish London are now sporting a quilted Barbour (or other Barbour style), without the slightest worry they look like mugs. This is the crux of what is so desperately wrong in menswear in London style. Literally all wearing the East London identikit look, all so very pleased with themselves.
This is a message to you Rupert: “You’ve all no idea why you’re doing this stuff you pillock, you’re just doing it. East London Style imbeciles, I’m coming for you. ”
Ahem, sorry about that. Back to coats. It was the same with Belstaff motorcycle jackets. Let's all buy them and see if they’re still cool. Thought process when trend in full swing: Idiot No. 25,568 sees Barbours everywhere and thinks, “Must get self one of those quilted Barbour coats that am seeing everywhere, then will be cool. Might get self one of those woolly hats too”. Gets coat, gets gnome hat, goes around feeling cool. Brilliant: Another Shoreditch twat is born, (see Shoreditch Twat). How can you be happy with this?
Fashion's amoeba think they are the informed few. (Never mind wax, we need a serum/antidote to this epidemic)
Sorry, coats and that… Barbour is a great brand which does fantastic outerwear, (I have two: the Cowan Commando and the Wax Flyer), but one can’t legitimately walk about the place in the same coat, all thinking you’ve tumbled cool. Which they do. They tend not go for the best ones either, but the very obvious options.
Barbours, fixed wheel bicycles, skinny jeans rolled right up your leg, little Dexy’s knitted hats, massive moustaches, check shirts, arm/neck fulls of tattoos… is it that easy? Do you just pick a couple of things from the Old Street style menu like trendy tapas and you’re done? Bollocks. Expect a purge.
(AM GONNA ADD SUITABLE IMAGERY OVER WEEKEND IN BETWEEN BOUTS OF ACTUAL WORK)
Many of them are just randomly picking elements with no clue of what they represent. I’m seeing tassle loafers with almost gothic style legging jeans, and moustaches/beards teamed with quiffs. Wrong. Chris Morris’s Nathan Barley was the prophecy and it's come true, except the clothes are far sillier than on the TV program.
Am going to deconstruct this sartorial pic’n’mix humiliation over the bank holiday. There will be a Style&Error questionnaire to discover if you, or anyone you know is a Bibble (see Nathan Barley).
Bibbles everywhere, Style & Error is looking at you and laughing its snaffles off.