this season's silhouette

I was sat in A&E, Homerton Hospital again. Nothing bad happened to me but sometimes you just gotta get away from the constant demands of modern living, and go tranquil. For me it’s always A&E or the passport office of late. Phone off, wireless down, it’s most relaxing and good for ones flow. I can actually work. They should consider coffee top ups.  A&E is lacking somewhat on a style level however. Yesterday was the exception. A kid got dragged in by his Herbert mates having come a cropper off his scooter just round the corner. They carried him with bleeding elbows, a dislocated shoulder and grazed jogger bottoms. The place was transformed into an estate slang urban fashion parade. I’ve been observing closely what you might call ‘this season’s silhouette’, and this was a showcase, not in recent Milan/Paris runways affairs, but on a street level in Hackney.

It’s an exacting roster of detail to get it properly right. While the London Fields trendies ride fixed wheel bikes, sport handlebar moustaches and flood length pants, the inner city kids are up to something very different. ‘This season’s silhouette’ is all about riding your Gilera scooter, elbows out, shoulders hunched, back arched and exhaust manifold sawn off. It’s the shape you make when you rev and rev down the Murder Mile or Mare Street, helmet on top of skull like a rebel Mecon. Then there’s clothes. Thick grey marl or navy jogger bottoms, the sort to make boney kids look chubby. These bell out over Rebook Classics in black or white. The next element is key.

Ghetto male bond/happy slapping.

A Ralph Lauren pique polo shirt, preferably ho0ped, in bright colour, size: dress length.  It was hard to tell if injury boy was doing the full it as he was tangled and bloodied. Two of his four mates were for sure. The look, or ‘off the shoulder asym-ghetto polo flex’, as we shall call it, involves, putting one arm through a sleeve, but not the other, so the body furls around your neck and chest like an Arab scarf/cape. Can go for tee shirt underneath or skin option.  When on the scooter the effect is great, non matching sleeves and a flowing tail in the wind.

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough

Its sort of New Romantic Preppy Ragga or Pastel Lawrence of Dalstonia. It’s very fetching, and totally undocumented. I’m gonna start doing it with a blazer and see how that drops down Cecconis. Of course there’s no pictures of the ‘ghetto asym flex’ yet, it’s way too underground. I was gonna try and get a picture, but the rowdy crew didn’t seem well disposed to fashion documentary as they all demanded immediately attention for their pal, dressed like an angry Spandau ballet  in a heated on court tennis dispute. I gathered up my mobile office  accoutrements and sloped off for a Natas down The Chatworth. Asym-Ragga Spandau look coming to a high street new you soon.

TS  is out of A&E for now.