Swimming style & London Fields Lido

Enrolled at London Fields Lido (click) today. Visited to swim last Monday, and have been four other times since. JW said that's addictive behaviour. Perhaps, but there's worse things, no? Swimming in the open air is brilliant. Especially exhilarating when important stuff is going on elsewhere in town. Swimming outdoors in the wind, rain, and leaves against  the backdrop of the art deco Lido is the perfect antidote to modern stress and all that. (Wish they'd fix the stop watch on the wall). Gonna take my sister Julie down there when she visits.

The proper swimmers wear hats. The proper girl swimmers wear costumes, not bikinis. Speedo is de rigueur. I wear Speedo Comme des Garcons (click).  Would be a shame not to. Once you squeeze on a rubber hat with a repeated Speedo logo in a signature Comme pattern on your head, you know you're there to swim, not fanny about.

Those longer length very fitted shorts (see above) are called Jammers. I wear them too. They're the way forward. Flapping around in baggy shorts is proper muggy. NB. I do not look quite like this (see above). A person has pointed out that when Hackney is over run completely by the bourgeois that they'll all wear 'nice' trunks and swim well. Irrelevant. Speedo are an egalitarian thing and only £18 (click). Competent swimming is also not the preserve of the educated classes, anyone can do it. People frequently just choose KFC/BK, not ASA.

I also do not look like this, nor have I seen anyone wearing this combo, yet. Stylish swimming is about something other than Japanese design collaborations however. It's about swimming well in the water. Not flat out, or semi-professionally,  but just without looking like a complete water-spanner. Sometimes I swim up behind a bloke and they are thrashing around with their legs like they are having a wild spasm. Meanwhile they're ploughing away to little effect with the arms like a simpleton trying to fight off bullies in the playground. One shudders in the water in the hope that no such thrashing is going on in one's wake. It is amazing how stupid they look. I think they should segregate the spanners into a little pool of their own. An extra lane in addition to the slow, medium, fast swimming lanes already in place. I go for medium pace, and am happy enough. Rather than splashing, calm reaching forward and stretching steadily is what appears to work. Not fighting the water like a frenzied buffoon.

I do have a problem with breathing out on the left side, so I don't.  I did do 2.3k  today, (or 46 lengths). Feel like Tarzan now. Quite a camp, slight, Tarzan. Still am gonna take a course in the Shaw Technique (click) to ensure don't have closet spanner status. "Grace and economy of movement" is what I fancy. A good look. That plus a bit of  Comme naturally.

This is what the Lido looked like before they tarted it up. Now it's a different story.

Meanwhile, I am looking for this mystery swimmer (see below). Never spotted in East London, ever, but occasionally seen in Mayfair I believe, and usually not in swimming gear. She has a list of luxury swimming misdemeanours as long as her arm, (long), against her that need answering to. She also wears a bikini, usually Hermes, despite claiming she doesn't.  The sooner she is marched down to Dover Street Market and Comme'd up the better. Please help track her down.

Stubbs out. (FS)