Christmas morning I found self in a 'Fashion Uncle' teenage jegging scenario. Gifting young girls body conscious fashion is apparently controversial for a forty year old man, stylist or not. I cannot imagine why.
It started in Uniqlo, Oxford Street. While sourcing jeans for my older sister (and editor) for Christmas (to team with Russell & Bromley hiking style boots that I got her for her recent birthday), I discovered that the realm of jeans and leggings has expanded somewhat into all manner of sub groups. (It's as if stretch jeans are the new coffee, in terms of plethora specialised varieties). I explained to a helpful girl in The Uniqlo I wanted skinny, tapered, true-blue jeans with a stretch, and that my sister was tall, had very nice boots and quite a big arse. She directed me to the jean look ‘Leggings Trousers’. Not to be confused with Jeggings or jeans with stretch, but existing between Jeggings and a Jean/Trouser. Marvellous attention to specifics those Japanese.
Nearby I discovered a cache of pure, undiluted, Jeggings. They’re packaged in neat little bundles, demonstrating their legging-ness, with a bit of pocket and top stitched seaming showing, demonstrating their denim-ness. In all different colours and finishes, they were most exciting, in the manner of fast-denim/fast-food fix. Perfect for the two teenage girls (16 and 19 years old), and their Mother (not sure how old, but still very fit), who live next door to my Mum. We’re all close, and they’re in and out of my Mum’s place throughout Christmas Day. The three are attractive, womanly and in shape, so guessed size M should cover all eventualities and arses alike. What fun: Jeggings all round on Christmas morning. Swapping various colours options and laughing at the outcomes will be part of the fun, and a size L wild card pair as back-up should suffice.
While wrapping my haul, an inner circle style advisor (of fine and notable stature herself), counseled that distributing acutely body conscious fayre to the young could be potentially damaging. How so? Well, apparently a 'stylishly perceived' older bloke from the metropolis, giving out current fashion items in moderately public arena, risks individuals feeling they’ve not managed to measure up to physical expectations. I put this to the mother of the girls who laughed dismissively as she hauled on her jeggings having hoisted up witchy-hemmed dress. Her youngest was also now modelling her grey denim versions and shaking her ‘booty’ convincingly to demonstrate an apparent complete lack of anxiety. My brother in law and I looked on approvingly, even as it became apparent the next size up in the legging/trouser hybrids for my sister. Surely this was height of wholesome and stylish fun on Christmas day, no? It was a hoot and no one felt bad in the slightest as all manner of real Christmas arses were content in the faux denim skins.
Caution is, of course, a good thing in cases with sensitive young girls and fashion in the mix. However, many girls just fling themselves into this caper without a thought, booty and all.
My other group offering, The Heals musical crackers were a also roaring success. After a warm up round of The First Noel, I conducted the eight whistle strong version of Happy Birthday to the absent at work oil-rigging father, Chris. In retrospect, a non-dyslexic conductor and a non-asthmatic lead whistle (such as my Mother) might have been better advised. The day was being defined by a devil may care approach to protocol.
And what became of the wild card size L jeggings, you ask? I couldn’t possibly speculate at this juncture, I am far too reserved. I can however reveal I have been looking for something appropriate to team with my Sergio Rossi riding boots for Vogue Fabrics New Year bash. Self conscious? Lyall, fetch my favourite crop, I’ll demonstrate self conscious.
Later this week, why 'skinny' is here until we're all much older, for men especially.