under presssure/Track Record

I consider myself moderately tough when it comes to surgery. I've had plates put in my skull and numerous head based stitching up procedures (seem to attract those). However nothing gets me at it worse than the idea of a vessel under pressure. I can pass out from a blood pressure test, just at the thought of it.

Vein surgery department, Monday p.m. at the hospital, and the 82 year old lady that had gone in previously had held her stoic silence the nurses told me cheerfully. That's the war for you. Or childbirth. Bloody mothers. I found the operation rather 'uncomfortable' as the medics so succinctly put it.  They insert a laser up your vein from an incision in the knee, inflate the surrounding area with water so as not to burn additional flesh, then incinerate  the vein till it collapses from the inside. Uncomfortable? Yeah, right. 'Fuck the 82 year old, she's made us all look like idiots' I asserted, trying to relax, as per the team's counsel. Apparently blokes who keep fit are the worst moaners, so the burly Northern chap in charge of pain management told me. "Would you like some music?" oh fuck yes, bring it on.

I would rather have my eyelashes lasered than listen to the first offering of 'Head Kandi', which I recognised from the stupid logo on the iPod and the pointless house chords. What is this, a spa in Swindon or a hospital? The second choice was perfect, Best of Queen, (my favourite Queen album). 'Who Wants to Live Forever' I found  mildly ironic compared to the jovial Geordie who loved it. As the process of vein  inflation was initiated, the sparse first notes of Under Pressure by Freddie and Dave came on. Lovely. Now this really is spot on.

The boys helped a great deal, time flew, and soon I was hobbling down the corridor in asymmetric tights,  bandages and smock like something from an early Nineties Hussein Chalayan show.

This look is trendy proof. It's been tested for twenty years.

For the day/theatre I elected to wear Gucci snaffles, Acne jeans and CP Company cinched outerwear: a proper trend proof stance. When they gown you up they suggest you keep your top and socks on. Why, to add further humiliation? I went for binary nakedness - all or nothing, just the smock. Stylish tokens of the outside world just make your plight all the more pathetic. Looking back the glasses made me look foolish too, and regret keeping those on, although I had fully planned to read aloud from my novel during the op.

One the other side of style, the whole procedure was made all the more bearable by the knowledge that my new Ralph Lauren Polo jogger bottoms in marl sweat fabric had arrived from My-Wardrobe.com. A complete coincidence, but rather fitting. Or not fitting in this case.

Decent tracky or jogger bottoms are hugely underrated by trendies. With the right trainers and a directional knit or aggy jacket one has a bit of a look on one's hands. I am re-establishing  jogger credentials this week. They have the twin added advantages of being off the 'Hoxton tapas' menu of cool while allowing one to pass through various scenarios undetected. Lacoste do a fine tracksuit, fully cuffed and zipped at bottom. An utterly key detail, they must be cuffed, as demonstrated on My-Wardrobe.com below.

The joggers are marl. Marl is key, and marl could be massive as it has a natural dress down message to its very DNA. Various people have done good stuff in marl for SS. It can look great. It can also go wrong. Lets discuss that. Tomorrow please.


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