HOMEBASE MISSION TO LEYTONSTONE

FLASH SPECIAL FORCES GARB FOR COVERT DIY WORK

No time. No questions. However did something quite shelfish last night. I know what you're thinking, 'dyslexic twat, we know you're selfish'. Wait. No. I erected some shelves in my kitchen and whole place is transformed, magically. I went Homebase - Leytonstone on Monday in the Saab, drop-top town, Dave giving it soul with Young Americans, flossing in my Guccis, as standard. I expect you're wondering what outer-wear to don on such a potentially perilous mission, right? Vintage C.P.Company Mille Miglia (click) , obviously.

(Model above is not identical, they constantly evolve, but you get the gist). Had the goggle hood up for the really treacherous bits. That showed 'em in the deep East. Had to go Walthamstow H-base too. Even deeper. Anyway shelves are up and the orange thing that been using as shelves is now in the garden. The kitchen is suddenly massive and chic. The garden is suddenly quite IKEA. Poor robins, it'll clash with their colourways.

Completely shelfish outlook.

Gotta fly West End for the pending Inbetweeners shoot that's on the agenda this week. Spencer Hart? All the way.

All for one's shelf.

There's way more to this story. There really is, but got to dash. Will tweak later.

TS is out in The Metropolis.