RED CARPET BURNS

This is my stance from yesterday's X Factor Premiere. Well, bottom half anyway. Louis Vuitton boots and NHS wash Acne jeans*. Quite casual really but felt was working. Not sure carpet was felt however, as got quite nasty friction burn off it later during brief scuffle with a fanatic. Thought Vorderman had calmed right down these days.  It appears not. Our bodyguard, Geordie Dave, did most of the actual restraining once we'd upended her.

Wasn't actually a guest, or officially close personal security (officially), was doing styling, wasn't I? Wanna see my boy's look, or are some of you just gonna say stuff that I have to unapprove? He looked the best out of the whole freaking arena, trust me. GQ thought so too (click). Dries Van Noten navy hop-sack weave two button suit, pale grey Emmett shirt with collar tab, the tie of last year by E.Tautz in Olive wool, and some new J.M.Westons from their Claridge range. Not ground breaking but tres, tres chic. Day, but sharp . Relaxed but dignifying the occasion. Up close you should have seen the textural play. Really you should, it was breath taking. Or was that in fact Tulisa's Westwood corset? There were some sights on that carpet. Someone in full leg plaster cast looked pretty ill at ease, and I noticed that shade of red not good for certain ginger 'celebs'. Occupational hazard I suppose.

The Dries suits are very surprising little numbers. I got him two straight off the peg in Liberty's, the navy hop sack and a nail-head grey wool version. Narrowed pants, a short jacket with reduced skirt and a rope shoulder. I got one too. We looked like Gilbert & George stood there in almost matching whistles.  Hate to talk wedge, but £740 for a good suit? Quite special I think. Back of the net for Team State, no? My tailors to take note.

To be fair, the thing doesn't mould and 'live' with your body in the same way bespoke or even made to measure does. Factory production lacks that quality, but for an instant and chic hit, you cant go far wrong. Unless you're fat of course. Then you're knackered.

Ivy League style, model's own.

TS.

*it's a long and quite gruesome story, so perhaps let's save that.

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