DAY NURSE, CHANDELIER GAZING & SQUIRREL
Tried a combination of Day Nurse and Rioja last night in a pub with a juke box. Enjoyed very much making everyone listen to New York Dolls followed by Jose Feliciano followed by Velvet Underground 'Rock'n'Roll'. Neither bottles mentions side effect of not knowing how you got home. Should they? Dull if they did. Found rice on the work surface. Clue one. Found remnants of goat curry in bin. Two. Found footage of erected chandelier on Flip-cam. And there you have it. Everything points to a 56 bus home which stops outside Granny's. Went there then lay on the living room floor with a massive vat of goat curry staring at newly hung chandelier and playing music. Not particularly chic, although was in Anderson&Sheppard pinstripe three piece double breasted. Not very E5 at midnight, but made it home with all accoutrements, and some. Also wanted to bring avid Style&Error readers up to speed on The Troubles in the garden the with the fundamentalist squirrels. Am sure you're both dying to know how things developing. Well, after using fuse wire to suspend the suet ball, actually caught the head squirrel bitch managing to get to the ball and sheer its mesh with teeth. She saw me too but with a maniacal look on her face she hung on and braved my stone attack. I hit her full on in the tits (there are eight) with a stone. She took it, the hardened Hackney mentalist. She took it with a flinch, gnawed harder, then made off with the suet ball. I found immediate new respect for her. What can you do against an enemy who is that committed to suet. I now know how the US military felt in Vietnam. Agent Orange? The Pledge never worked. I moved the ball out to a furthest frond and to this day they've not worked it out yet. I've seen them trying to haul it in hand over hand, but until they get some non-slip squirrel wire handling gloves, they're fucked.
There's still the seed feeder. They'll always be the feeder. They've re-doubled their efforts and tripled the patrols. I thought about taking it to the next level and getting a gun. An air-gun mind, but once you've done that the whole thing will just escalate. For now an uneasy peace has descended in the garden They're now making my garden the one stop seed and nut stop for the whole freaking road as far as I can tell. It's like a squirrel playground. They come and frolic and practise jumping, so they can one day again reach suet highs. They use the hammock. I'm sort of allowing them. Less birds come, which is a shame, but we're all co-existing in a way.
This is not finished in any way. These days I have to admit it's far more squirrel and G-Plan round my gaff, although I've developed some new techniques this year.