Just when you think you can stop for a mo' as its a Monday, a bloke the other side of the world nigh on demands (actually no, he did demand) his 'Wide' copy. Been talking about how wider is way forward. Wide lapels, wide wool ties, wider trousers, wide births, the lot. Now the Editor's called it on and am creeping over deadline, again. Better put some copy where  my mouth is sharpish, rather than fannying about doing 'dark is the new colour' banter for S&E.  I can't imagine what Dave is finding so funny. It ain't his dentist's bill that's for sure. Loved Dave's teeth before they got fixed. Anyway, wide, texture, subverted tradition, subverted teeth. It's all there.

What is the collective noun for a group of shoots? An 'Assemblage'? A 'Trip' of shoots? A 'Trace' perhaps. Suggestions welcome, plus bonus braps for anyone who can tell me what animal really does come in a Trace. Clue, last week was all about them. Anyway, I've got five days (two technically TV, but still) of shoots in a row at end of week, so really gotta pull finger out. Not sure can handle. So under pressure, only thing left to do is get my Speedo's on and go down the Lido.

Stubbs out in the mist.

P.S. Saw Shaun Ryder last night in studio in Wembley. Last time I met him, I pretended to be cool, and just went, 'alright?' This time considered saying how important The Mondays were to us, and how Tart Tart and Kuff Dam were genius (rewind click). But was escorting Jack Wilshere and his mum at the time so couldn't stop and pay respect. 'Did you see Shaun Ryder back there?" I said to Jack. Hadn't heard of him. You know, Happy Mondays? "Never watch it" was Wilshere's reply. Kids eh?

P.P.S It's collective noun week in Clapton. Question 2. What is the collective noun for a massive group of barber's shops?

P.P.P.S Christian. B. Barker, am on the wide case, wide-man.

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