Very limited seat choice left me sat right at the very front of the oversubscribed press conference, with top-ranking Sarah Mower and some Germans. Seventy odd international journos waited in a big, grand room in The Connaught Hotel, Mayfair. It was the David Beckham Bodywear launch with H&M. A biggy. And so we waited. Then a smiling David was presented to us by Tim Blanks, off of Style.Com. Bless Dave, you can tell he's exactly what he appears to be. Quite shy, nice fella, ringer for Errol Flynn, but here with a mission that he completely believes in. Stuff the 'black washing machine' slur detractors on S&E yesterday, I think Dave and I speak the same language on a couple of levels. Probably not football, but perhaps pants, shoes and kitchen style. All key issues, no?

D.B. is so earnest and modest about his big underwear style ambitions. One wonders why bother doing this if you're him, but he is clearly committed. It was a project he was doing with Simon Fuller that H&M (click) jumped on and offered to partner (more of those later). Once Tim had finished and a couple of questions were allowed, I asked Dave a point of styling, through the mic despite being about seven foot apart. Quite odd. Was grateful for Anderson&Sheppard (click) chalkstripe three piece, and unusual collar-bar arrangement had deployed, as at least that commanded some presence. D.B. understands that shit. Admit that heart was banging in chest as the PR handed me the mic, but gotta keep on brand, (which would be 'chancer/pillock in remarkable suit' then).  Slightly naused beginning of question, asking about his 'Great underwear credentials', rather than 'Great underwear criteria', which is what I intended. Quite different, quite challenging, but corrected self swiftly and David comfortably gave the room his heart felt pant breakdown. Managed second question on back of answer, which you can hear if can be bothered, see link below. I kick in after 20sec. D.B. is quite quiet, like he is, but do bear with him.

BECKHAM/STUBBS PANT INTERVIEW 2012 (click on it, right?)

It's largely about comfort for Beckham, but closely followed by the look. In his answer David twice mentions, how you look in your underwear in front of your 'girlfriend, wife, partner..'. He seemed to glance at me both times he said partner. What can he have been thinking? I didn't even have my legs crossed. We would meet again later at his party at 45 Millbank, next to the Tate Britain. It's a fantastic place that had been turned into a gentlemen's club for the night. Thankfully, they let ladies in too.

David leaves Connaught Hotel for his bash.

I travelled to the do with Matey off the Telly who was late, quel surprise. He's just moved house, so let him off. No tie? I put the back-up vintage Hermes tie on him I happen to have with, (now that's what I called  Ultra-Butlering). We arrived at the gaff to find a large metallic statue of D.B. in his pants. It reminded me of Ken, (of Barbie and Ken), who I discovered on Christmas Eve, with my 6 and 10 year old pals, wears his own initialled pants. K brand. Quite stylish too, high on the leg, high on the rise, small self-belt. Dave, Ken's done you on that one am afraid.

Arriving with Dermot makes things so, so much easier, everyone just smiles and you can mess about even more than usual with protocol. Everyone smiles. Well useful. Linked comrade Claudia Croft from Sunday Times Style, and once we got near to target D.B., we left D.O'L talking to Bear Grylls and moved in for the scoop.

So round two with Dave, one-on-two, and he's more bloody charming then ever. Clauds asked a good question about oddest requests of the day. "Would you sign my arse" he explained. Talked about marl, what with all the marl in the collection and that. He's a massive marl fan, style fact. Would he 'Double-marl'? "Yes, I do Double-marl, yes" And Total-marl? "Yes, I would definitely consider it." There you have it jersey fans, a scoop. We spoke about his look which was simple and sharp; Low key gunmetal grey Lanvin toe cap shoes, a Prada suit and a gold Date Just Rolex, FYI.

What a pleasant way to while a way an evening? Mani was on the decks, and Bobby Gillespie was on the brown, (only kidding). I declined the Wolsey with O'Leary and Survival Boy, as although love company of Matey and his elegant fiance Dee, Grylls isn't exactly 'Bear Jokes', know what I mean? Stayed and nothing mental happened, always a plus.

Stubbs out.

Ken's K Brand pants, high-rise, high impact.

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