"..and not a myth left for the ghetto". Thanks Dave, too true. Shopping in Manchester for leather and after some research decided to sod the cathedrals of spend for designer belts. Those rinse-while-you-wait gaffs say nothing to me about my wish list. Everywhere you look, when it comes to belts, it's as if all mens designers bottle it and go "If we're charging a oner, we better make it really polite, yeah? Brown or black with standard buckle okay for you?". Er, no. All of them look like some sales rep's Christmas present from his thickset wifey. Boss, Armani, all of them. Except the ones from Burberry. They're Chav/Cowboy fusion with massive check motif buckles. Utter pony-train. Don't know if this was a department store regional buy for the check shirt masses of the North West (only kidding, I know you're all in Vivienne and Dior these days) but it'sno good. Meanwhile, American Apparel is good wherever you are, even up North. If you buy the right bits I think it's mustard. Their belts are the thing, am telling you. All the girls look good in there too.

The narrow coloured guys are really good, I firmly endorse them. The burgundy suede guy is brilliant. Reverseable with blue leather on the other side and a clever device/buckle that rotates. Rotate on that Harvey Nicholas. Forget how much they all are, but about an opener* for the leather ones, and £40 ish for Paolo Reversi.

The retro Y fronts are well documented as dead good. I swear by them. "Where are my flipping pants you bastards?"** for example. Having mis-packed for the trip, buying pants off the young girls and then asking if you can put them on isn't remotely awkward either. I mean, it's not like it looks as though you've shat yourself or been out bumming all night, does it?

So using reverse psychology thought also buying a coral suede bow and coconut lip-balm*** should hetero the whole purchase up a bit, right? Anyway, to recap, even the miniature holdall bag that I got to package this whole thing up in is cool, see previous post. Didn't have time to try their cotton drill narrow coloured chino-fellas, but will and report back. Gotta love a bit of American Apparel, especially their sexualised deconstructed fashion imagery and young American staff dressing accordingly. Go there soon and buy something fun/practical and something mildly inappropriate. Meanwhile this performance does more than give me goose bumps. It's completely transfixing. The Dick Cavett show, The soul voice, the look, the everything. Mr.David, take it away...

Stubbs is out of The Metropolis.

* Open door, score.

**When at the launderette, not during another humiliating debagging experience on the Downs, perish the thought.

***The lip balm is simply divine BTW