Am running about a week behind on everything. A week has fallen off the schedule. The Lost Parallax Seven am calling it. Good job not going head to head with CNN or even Style.Com for that matter. As its a Saturday, this is my page in last Saturdays Telegraph newspaper. I think it looks quite good, and gone is the scribble pic-buy line and spatula shoes. The relief is tangible. Don't know if you lot can read it at this size, so might cut the thing into strips and feed it too you like horologic veal*. Or kettle-spam perhaps, depend on your view point.

One reason am behind is was doing (styling matey, not playing) Soccer Aid last weekend. Saw Amir Khan at Old Trafford and said hello. Think he might have thought was a 'punter S random'. Having put him forward as a watch-man to watch, I asked him if he liked the piece on him in the paper. Didn't know about it, but did show me this sort of daisy wheel five dial Jacob Watch that looked like something Phileas Fogg has designed for the JRR.Tolkien round-the-world Gothic Cockpit Challenge. Quite bad. What is possibly worse was him telling us his fully iced Audermars Piguet Royal Oak as seen in the Telegraph had let him down. "The thing* fell off just before I was going on the Jonathon Ross show. It were a nightmare". Must have been the Royal Oak Fell-Off Shore model. Perhaps should carry some de-icer for TV appearances? Hope The Baroness doesn't read this far down the post or I'll be for it.

The Jacob Five Time Zone- Purest form-follows-flux-capacitor function.

Aside from Amir's bit, did some research into the special style allure/tarif of Rolex Daytonas, spoke to Sir Jackie S, as you know, featured Jacky Heu's top birthday kettle too, but favourite thing was publishing four looks from Trussadi in The Telegraph. Can only be good, right? <Insert socio-style based comment here>

Not sure how gonna get my week back, doubting is possible, unless Phileas has been working on a daisy-wheel time machine for Jacob. My soothsayer tells me things might get worse over next week or two, so do bare with me here at Lavinia Villas. Much be doing something wrong, but then so, so much is out of ones control, not least the passing of time.

Stubbs is out of The Metropolis.

PS. This Madness Return of Los Palmos Seven video is interesting. Not sure why. Never knew what they were on about at the time.

* Think he meant the winding crown.

** Tried that. Didn't work.