Bryan Ferragamo is reviewing London Collections: Men. For reasons too convoluted to go into the first one is being posted on Style&Error. Almost none of the opinions expressed below are those of the author/founder.

Mr.Bryan Ferragamo circa 1972

LONDON COLLECTIONS: MEN AW2013 Day I by Bryan Ferragamo

"Don’t say I didn’t tell you so. Yep, so far LC:M has all been about bin-liners, boot polish and B&Q, specifically the show by the impressively mental Craig Green and his fence-faced models. The Daily Mail comments section has gone absolutely bat-shit over it, mainly because under the planks, Greenie’s models are blacked-up like (and I quote) ‘banjo-playing minstrels’, obviously. Now what could possibly be wrong with that in 2013?"

Craig 'Greeno' Green -AW 2013

"Actually, it’s hard to argue with the woodchip-mask from a design point of view as Craig Green is merely using trick employed on the ‘Row for centuries. Want to emphasise a short man’s height? Go for a deep ‘v’ on the lapels. Want to steer the eye away from a bulging gut? Wider shoulders. Here, Greeno has done exactly the same thing. Want to avoid the bother of actually making any clothes anyone would dream of wearing? Stick a section of crack house flooring on someone’s face. Works every time. Oh, and Stubbs? <Cough> Bin-liners. <Cough>"

More from Craig 'Greeno' Green- AW 2013

"Fashion East Menswear Installation was also agreeably crazed, with bowl-headed freaks sitting – complete with sulky expressions - inside a miniature flying saucer. When they clambered out they seemed to be chanelling a) Cruella de Ville and b) the glorious period between 1990 and 1991 when Carter USM, EMF and the New FADS bestrode the world like collssi. Ah, happy days.

John Smedley presentation: AW2013

Back in the real-ish world, John Smedders hit the spot with stripey long-johns – you know, like Lee ‘Wand’rin Star’ Marvin used to wear when forced to jump out of the window of a burning whorehouse.

Mr.Start AW 2013

Mr. Start was also encouraging – suits were rather pedestrian, but the outerwear, specifically the belted/mottled overcoats looked both sharp and sinister, like a post-mod mortician (or ‘mod-tician’, if you prefer) – and there is no higher compliment than that.

Mr.Start as well, also AW2013

But the biggest let-down of LC:M so far (beyond the fact that ‘The Count’s enormous head seems to have grown to the size of a barrage balloon), was Hackett London, who seem to have fielded EXACTLY THE SAME collection as LAST YEAR. Bowlers, city gents, Cambridge Spies, smoking jackets.

Hackett AW2013

I mean, I approve of the approach (‘fuck this designing lark, let’s piss off to Alton Towers’), but did Jezz really think no one would notice?  Maybe he should have nailed a few chunks of wood to those bowlers. Worked for Craig Green."

By Bryan Ferragamo January 8th 2013.

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